CrossRoads

Have you ever come across something and just knew that it was meant for you?  Ever felt a pull so strong to something, that you felt you could never let go of it or live without it?  That's how I felt the first time I set foot in this house. It was love at first site.  Sure, it needed some TLC and a lot of work, but it just felt like home.  It's where I belonged.  Clear a few trees here; cut a few shrubs there; build a couple of sheds over there; flower gardens there, there and there.  New windows and doors, new siding, new roofs, some paint (a lot of paint), and it would be good as new.

Fast forward two years...my husband's accident last fall left him partially paralyzed from the waist down and unable to do what he used to do - the hard stuff, the digging, the clearing, the chopping, the rebuilding...we had only begun to scratch the surface of resurrecting this property to a more vibrant state. Now, we're at a crossroad - do we stay, or do we go?

Staying would mean extensive renovations and modifications to the house to make it accessible for someone with such a disability.  It would mean additions, and elevators and regrading and wheel chair lifts.  My husband not having access to the loft (which has the best view), but at least he would be able to access all other floors with the addition of an elevator. 

Moving elsewhere would have its own costs.  We'd have to find a place that was suitable for our family and accessible for my husband, and would likely be faced with renovations and modifications there as well.  It would mean giving up acres of ravine property with spectacular views, right in town, close to our friends and the kids' school.  It would mean giving up a country setting lifestyle we had always wanted.  It would mean giving up the dream of breathing life back into Ridgeview, and making it a place that draws people and wildlife (like it did to me the first time I saw it). 

How can one become so attached to a thing in so little time?  It's just a piece of land, just a building.  Everyone knows that home is where the heart is, so why should it matter where we live.  As I sit watching the full moon out the loft window, and feel its pull, it reminds me...some things just cannot be explained, they can only be experienced.

Redesign

Have you ever thought, "if I could just change this, or that, then it would be perfect"?  What if you were given that opportunity, every day?  What would you do?  What would you change?  How would you make it "perfect" ("Perfect", after all, is only in the eye of the beholder.  There is no such thing, really.).

Over the last few weeks, even months, I've been doing just that - to our home.  I've been designing and redesigning floor plans, searching for ideas on the Internet, and in my overactive and creative mind.  I've spent countless hours on designs, to make a floor plan that would be just right - for all of us in the home.  It'll be adaptable to accommodate my husband's disability.  It'll maintain the loft that I like to call my zen space (it's my quiet and creative space...and I just can't give it up).  It will provide space for my boys to play, for my husband to relax and rehabilitate, and for me to work.  It'll have space for guests to stay.  I can see it in my head.  It'll be "perfect". 

Our lot's elevations present the biggest challenge in designing such a "perfect" space, at a cost we can afford.  There are very few designs that I found in countless hours of research that deal with such sloping elevations as ours.  And there is little we can do with our building footprint without getting into septic location issues and significant and unaffordable costs.  We also have multiple levels in our home (as you can see from pics in previous posts), so an elevator will be essential to meet the current and future needs of our family (more on elevators in a post to come.).  That certainly adds a very significant cost to the project.

If ever you're looking at redesigning your space (be it your home, your office, your garage or studio), I recommend you first ask yourself what you want.  How would you make your space "perfect".  Searching sites like the following will give you design ideas:
http://www.ultimateplans.com/Index.aspx
http://amazingplans.com/
http://www.lchouseplans.com/house-plans-advanced-search
http://www.loghome.com/category/floorplans/
http://loghomelinks.com/states/on.htm
http://www.summerwood.com/cdn/plans/index.html      

Then, once you know what would be "perfect", talk to a local building contractor about costs, and how you can perfect your space within your budget.  There are web-sites and resources that can provide guidance on costs as well, like those listed below.
http://www.allaroundthehouse.com/lib.repr.htm#H
http://www.ontariocontractors.com/costs.htm#2

Whatever you choose, don't be afraid to write down and plan out what "perfect" is for you.  Dream away - doors may open, and opportunities may arise to allow that dream to come to fruition.  The first step is to see it in your head, then get it out of your head and on to paper.  So, go ahead - design and create "perfect" :)

Metamorphosis

I am so excited about the most recent issue of Sibella Poetry Magazine (now available online - see attached link http://clck.com/jmmg/spoetry/SIBELLAPOETRYsummer2012a.pdf) for good reason:  my poem, "Metamorphosis" is on page 9, and it showcases the wonderful poems that were this year's contest winners. 

"Metamorphosis" is a culmination of lifelong learning from changes in my own life, but was also inspired by the experiences of various friends.  One such friend (whom I only met recently in the Spring) just happens to be one of this year's contest winners (see "It Doesn't Matter Much..." by Jaisa Sulit).  She and my husband experienced similar accident injuries, and I'm blessed to now have her in our lives.  Another inspired me from a late-night chat we had about a piece of writing she had shared with our writing class. 

It is partially in knowing that I have great and wonderful friends (new and old - it's quite a large social network) that I am able to adapt quite well to difficult changes - changing jobs, changing lifestyles, changing circumstances - such as my husband's injury and on-going recovery. But even with adaptability, I've learned that you should never lose sight of your true self (believe me, I have, but have been quite fortunate to have found myself again - thank goodness!). We all go through change in our lives, some more than others, and some change more difficult than others. But it is through change that we learn resilience, we grow, we prosper. Just remember to be true to yourself through it all.

Ridgeview-Glen is still going through its process of metamorphosis.  We're now in brain-storming and design phases of renovations - quite a long process, with ups and downs, and unexpected turns itself.  More on this to come over the next few months.  Until then, cheers to change :)