Divine Timing: Going with the flow and letting it all come to you, for you

A lot has happened in the last three years, but none of it according to what I had planned...

• When my husband and I bought this house four years ago, we HAD planned that we'd do a lot of the renovating and revival work ourselves, over a ten-year period or so...NOPE - he had an accident three years ago that left him partially paralyzed and unable to do any of the hard labour work...MAJOR RE-DIRECT!
• Just before his accident, we HAD planned to get the house exterior finished that fall...NOPE - his accident was a re-direct in timing and scope of the work...at that time, we weren't sure if we would even be able to stay in the house given his limited mobility.   Enter Divine Timing - I hired my uncle's company a few months ago to do the exterior work on my house..with a completion deadline a week away, it will be finished by the time I come back from Italy in 2 1/2 weeks.  YIPPEE HOORAY YAHOO!!!  I'm so excited to finally see the finished product!  Sharon Homes Construction has been doing a great job at getting the work done, explaining to me what they're doing, and keeping me informed of hiccups that come up.  I always wanted my uncle to build me a house, and while it may not be a new build, it IS a complete face lift!

Step 1:  Add 1 1/2" rigid board insulation

Step 2:  add 12" barn boards

Step 3:  spray 1st coat siding stain (4+ steps to go!)

• When I got married, and even through the hardships of marriage, children, illness and disability, I HAD planned on spending the rest of my life with my husband....NOPE - we separated almost two years ago...life is not without it's challenges but you have to choose to honour yourself and find joy for yourself.  In choosing to honour myself and my children, I chose separation and the re-direct that the Universe presented IN MY FACE. 

• I HAD planned on a quick and easy separation....NOPE - separation is NEVER easy, and it took 13 months to come to a final agreement and get everything settled.  But THANK YOU UNIVERSE, for providing me with a super support system to help me through it all.  I learned so much about myself, my kids, my husband, my friends, lawyers, co-workers and so many others through the whole process.

• After we separated, I HAD planned on staying single for a long time, to be with myself and rediscover myself on my own....NOPE - another IN MY FACE moment from the Universe with a divine match later last year!  My ego went kicking and screaming against the thought of being in a relationship and falling in love again, not wanting to be entangled with anyone...when I ignored my ego and lifted the brakes, love flowed with complete ease - something I would have surely missed out on had I listened to my ego instead of the Universal flow :)
  

• I HAD planned on leaving my job two years ago, but with everything else going on in my life, the Universe told me to hang on a while longer....SO I DID, and left with a severance package at the beginning of July, allowing me to stay home with my kids this summer, to travel to places I never would have been able to before, to organize my life, and start my business...again THANK YOU UNIVERSE for Divine Timing.

These are just some of the highlights but needless to say, the last three or four years have been a major roller-coaster for me.  Some people have asked me how I get through it all, and my immediate answer is JUST GO WITH THE FLOW, and DON'T JUDGE ANY OF IT as a bad thing.  When things aren't going according to how you'd like them to go, recognize it as the Universe's message to stop and think about what you're trying to do, and to consider that maybe there's something better on a different path.  Then, ask the Universe to SHOW YOU, and see what comes up...it's giving messages constantly - you just need to open your eyes to see them.

In My Own Back Yard - Coyote at Work

I didn't see him...but I heard the tale and saw the evidence.  The remains were gruesome, laying there in the middle of the lawn between the decrepid deck and our trampoline (a very popular spot for the rabbits to come and graze).  The body was torn apart, exposed....face half torn off (as my son put it)...bits of hair here and there.
Poor Joey - that was the name I had given him.  I asked that he be disposed of before our dog Marley went out...or she'd take care of him herself.
"Take a shovel and throw him over the edge," I said, matter-of-fact (this is the country, and these things happen after-all)..."I don't want Marley getting into that!"
How did it happen?  Where did he come from?
He was quiet, stealth...it was a surprise attack....the witness said he'd never seen anything like that before.
"He jumped out of the bushes and in two leaps he grabbed the poor thing and shook him so violently!"  Then is was over.
But he must have gotten spooked because he looked up and bolted down the hill towards the road...not realizing he was being watched from the living room window.  The stealthy grey one with piercingly wild eyes was gone as quickly as he had appeared.  .
"And you're sure it was a coyote, not a fox?" I asked.
"Oh no, it was DEFINITELY a coyote!  You should have seen it!  WOW!  I've never seen THAT before!"

No, although we had never seen a coyote attack its prey in our backyard, it wasn't the first time one was so close to the house....just another day at Ridgeview, with Nature working exactly as it should.  As sad as it was to see another dead rabbit (one had been hit by a car by the driveway earlier that day), and as disturbing as it was to have a coyote capture its prey so close to the house, it's all part of the life cycle, and part of living life IN Nature by conservation and farm property...and no surprise - the town issues coyote warnings every year.

As humans, I think that we forget how great and powerful Nature is, and that we're just a SPECK amongst its existence.  We have to respect that it has its own laws, which far transcend anything that us humans like to make up as "law".  Nature doesn't care - it just IS - and exists with or without us.

I for one am grateful to be OF Nature and IN Nature, to bear witness to Nature's power and glory - be it torrential thunderstorms, glorious sunrises and sunsets, visits from dragonflies and butterflies or any of the many species of wildlife in my own back yard....even COYOTES :)

(Photo from:  http://www.theifp.ca/news/town-reminds-residents-to-beware-of-coyotes/)

PREVENTING AND MANAGING COYOTE ENCOUNTERS:
Coyotes are well-adapted well to both urban and rural environments.
If you encounter a coyote, keep your distance and do not approach it.
Do not turn your back and run from a wild animal - remain calm and back away; stand tall, wave your arms and make noise.

Coyotes are most active at dawn and dusk and during the night...carry a flashlight at night and keep your property well lit (I know I will be installing more lights around the house this summer).

Install fencing around your yard (not practical on 5 acres of property, but I can make the yard less appealing to coyotes with other measures such as lighting and keeping the yard clean).

Coyotes will come in your yard looking for food, particularly rabbits and rodents. They are also opportunistic feeders, so keep your trash secure inside the garage or other structure where its enclosed and inaccessible.

Don't leave pets unattended, especially at night.
Clean up after your dog - coyotes are attracted to dog feces.
Spay and neuter your dog - coyotes are attracted to and can mate with domestic dogs.

Teach your children basic safety regarding wild animals (and even domestic ones for that matter).
Don't leave small children and babies unattended in your yard - there have been reports of coyotes dragging children off into the woods.

Most of all, use common sense when it comes to living with and IN Nature.  Remember, animals was here before us, and they have just learned to adapt to us encroaching on their habitat - we should respect that and appreciate the full beauty of what Nature is.  In so doing, we could learn to adapt to wildlife living around us, and create a harmonious environment for all of us.


For more information on living with coyotes, see the following links:
http://www.discover-southern-ontario.com/coyotes.html
http://www.theifp.ca/news/town-reminds-residents-to-beware-of-coyotes/
https://www.ontario.ca/environment-and-energy/preventing-and-managing-conflicts-coyotes-wolves-and-foxes

Weekend of Thankfullness

It's that time of year again - Fall, Thanksgiving, bright colors.  As much as I love my fall views at Ridgeview, nothing compares to the rich brightness of the fall colors in areas a bit further north and in Quebec, where frost sets in a little earlier than Southern Ontario.  This Thanksgiving weekend was no exception...

I always look forward to the Thanksgiving weekend trip to Quebec to see my family - somehow everything seems better at home (good food, family, sun, bright colors - what more could you want!).  Saturday's trip did NOT disappoint!  It started off in the darkness of the morning, when the stars still lit up the sky as I packed the FJ.  Then, as I moved east of Toronto, I watched the sky as it turned golden at dusk, until the sun finally made its appearance - WOW!  what a sight!  My body buzzed, my smile grew, and my heart filled with gratitude...and I thought about all the things I was grateful for that day.

Oh, but it didn't end with the sunrise...the further I moved east, the brighter the colors got - yellows, oranges, reds, mixed with a dash of green... I lost count of the number of times I said WOW! on the trip!  I finally rounded the bend before my parents road, and pointed to the hill and said "Hey kids, look!  The leaves are so bright that the forest looks like it's on fire!"
















The weekend sure showed me a lot to be thankful for...it gave me a chance to reconnect with Nature for a few hours - to play, to get down in the leaves and enjoy the beauty of Fall (even had the dogs and a squirrel join me :)) <3  I'm always thankful for that chance - not only at Thanksgiving, but all year long <3 <3 <3

 

























Thankful for the tranquil moments, and time spent with family and good mom-prepared food (especially the pies!), the weekend ended with the opportunity to watch the sunset, in the exact spot where I watched the sunrise two days earlier.  And what a view it presented :) 

What are you thankful for?

Bugs 3

I have a new-found appreciation for bugs…not that I’ve come to like them, rather I appreciate them a whole lot more than I used to, and have become fascinated with them – their looks, their purpose, why they all seem to appear at Ridgeview…they truly are fascinating.  

Spider on a broad-leafed weed...if anyone can tell me what it is, please do.

Lappet Moth - July 12, 2013

Tent Catepillar Moth - July 15, 2013

Underside of Tent Catepillar Moth

In the last week or so, I’ve been paying attention to moths in particular.  These interesting creatures often fly around me when I’m on a walk in the field or playing in the yard.  They appear on my door each morning, and stick around for hours, almost as if they’re trying to discover and observe what’s on the other side of the door – fascinated with us, just as much as I’m fascinated with them.  I have so many questions for them – Where do they come from? Why do they look the way they do? Why are they here? What do they do? What do they eat? What other interesting creatures are coming to commune in my yard? – but haven’t yet taken the time to ask.       

Blood-thirsty mosquito - July 14, 2013

My recent experience with mosquitoes and flies also fascinates me.  On the weekend, I was lounging and reading on my outdoor bench, near the cedar rail fence where mosquitoes frequently take over.  A small dear fly had been circling around me, landing on my arm a few times then flying off when I told it that I’m not food.  Not once did it bite me, and not once did I swat at it.  I sat there for an hour before my oldest son came out to see me.  The mosquitoes immediately swarmed him and started biting him as he swatted them away.  I wondered, why are they swarming him, having sat here only a minute, and not me when I’ve been here for an hour?   I concluded that it was because I didn’t care to be afraid of them and swat at them, so they left me alone for the most part (that, or they had heard that my blood wasn’t so sweet :-) which is hard to believe given the amount of chocolate I like to eat :-)).  I did notice that after my son left me, a few decided they would try to feast on me.  I kindly communicated that I was not here to be their food – some left, others were politely flipped away or squashed as they sunk their daggers into my skin. 

A few years ago, if I had seen a bug, I would have run the other way, or grabbed something to swat it dead.  Now, I find myself observing them, communing with them and taking their pictures to share with others.  This new awakening to such things in nature has me wondering – Why did I take my fear of these things so seriously for all these years?  Why do I take ANY fears so seriously?  Really, what IS there truly to fear? ... The answer is fascinating and a true awakening for me ... NOTHING!!!  How fascinating it is to fear NOTHING ... how FREEING it is, wouldn't you agree?!?!

Enjoying Sunset Views

Did I ever mention what amazing views we have here at Ridgeview?  This evening, after dinner, I took advantage of the longer days, the dryer weather (we had a TONNE of rain this past week), and the sunshine to walk my dog in the village.  When I got home an hour later, I ran upstairs and just happened to look out the skylight in the stairway to see an amazing sunset.  I just kept going up...straight to the loft deck, grabbing my camera on the way.  There's something about gazing at the sun, especially sunsets, that makes time stand still and nothing else matters <3 <3 <3

Heaven on Earth

March 25, 2013:  Today, I had a vision on the way to work.  Not a new vision, but more vivid and clear than ever before.  It filled me with so much joy that tears swelled in my eyes and a smile plastered my face.  My smile spread so wide that my jaw hurt.  If you were driving beside me, I’m sure you would have thought “whoa, what’d she have in her coffee this morning”, or “No sane person would be driving to work on a Monday morning with a smile like that unless she got lucky” or “I’ll have what she’s having”.  I like the latter - “I’ll have what she’s having” – because everyone should give themselves the grace to be filled with such joy on nothing more than a vision….but this vision can become reality (or at least I’m hopeful).  This vision is about community, and creating Heaven on Earth.

It’s a sunny summer’s day – not too hot, not too cold – the weather is perfect for a celebration – a celebration that has been long coming.  It’s happening in my back yard – in the newly created gardens full of sage, lavender, primrose, wildflowers, roses, native shrubs.  The path from the covered back deck meanders through the yard to the waterfall pond in the woods, just past the fire pit area surrounded by wooden benches carved from fallen trees that had once scattered the property.  A local band is set up on the stage made of reclaimed wood from the house, and their folk music fills the air as my guests mingle and laugh and celebrate the huge victory of creating paradise in the Glen.  It truly is paradise.  It’s growth.  It’s abundance.  It’s peace.  It’s bliss.  And best of all, it’s all for them – my guests – my friends and family – the community. 

Together, we all built this paradise, all with love – months of toiling, chopping dead trees, removing over-grown vines and weeds, creating space for new growth, creating pathways through the trees, planting shrub and flower gardens all around the house, apple orchards lined with lilac trees, clearing an area for a soccer field, building a retreat cabin on the ridge with the best views of the village.  A large granite rock at the base of the pine-lined driveway welcomes guests:  Welcome to Ridgeview, where our heart is always open; where anyone can come to connect with nature, and with themselves.  Spend a quiet afternoon reflecting at the waterfall pond, or an evening being mesmerized by the campfire.  Spend a night in the guest room, fall asleep watching the starry night through the skylight, and wake to the smell of bacon and coffee:  breakfast on the East terrace watching the birds play and sun rise.  Or spend a night in the Ridgeview cabin where nothing will disturb you but the songs of the swamp frogs and night crickets, and maybe the occasional coyote howl in the distance – wake up whenever the sun tells you to and have yourself a coffee on the cabin deck admiring the peaceful views.    This is Heaven on Earth, open for all to experience.

"Be inspired to create what you imagine." ~ ©Linda Spencer

Snow Season = Play Season

There's something to be said about taking morning walks in Winter's freshly fallen snow.  Waking up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning to freshly fallen snow, or to a light snow shower, offers the perfect time to take Marley (our Yellow Lab/Golden Retriever cross) for a walk and to clear the sleepy cob-webs from my head.

(Marley telling me to come along)

(checking out the view from Ridgeview on a snowy morning)

I love the Snow Season (I won't call it the Winter Season, because the season of Snow spans beyond the season of Winter here in Ontario).  I love that when I take deep breathes of the crisp snowy air I feel refreshed and grateful for being alive and able to enjoy its freshness.  I love how the snow twinkles in the sunlight, and the moonlight.  Some people run and hide at the first sight of snow - I smile with excitement like a kid in a toy store as I watch the snow flakes (the snow fairies) dance their way to the ground, and hope enough will accumulate so I can go play (to make snow angels with the kids, to slide down the hill, to go snow-shoeing on our trails, to make snowmen or have snow fights with Marley and the kids - Marley likes to play in the snow too :)).  The Snow Season is a perfect PLAY season.

(making snow tracks)

Then, when I'm all played out, I stomp the snow off my boots, and make my way in the house to our roaring fireplace.  There, I curl up on with a soft fuzzy blanket on the couch and smile at the warmth of the fire, and at the site of the snow still twinkling outside.  And sometimes, I even catch a glimpse of the birds and bunnies feasting on the fresh birdseed I put out for them.

(feeding the birds)

What do you do to enjoy the Snow Season?

The leaves have fallen

Fall is both one of my favorite times of year (because of the vibrant colors), and least favorites...the time after the vibrant colors of the season, barren trees revealing once again the dirt and ugliness of the forest floor, until winter brings a cold white blanket to cover it again until spring. 

Oct 20-12 - view of back yard from the loft

Oct 27-12 - one week later

Harvest Moon Meditation

Hello Fall, and hello Harvest Moon.  Although it's cloudy out tonight so that I can't see the moon, the clouds did dissipate enough last night for me to catch a glimpse of the Harvest Moon...not as bright as I had hoped, but no less powerful.  I love watching the moon it all its brightness.  I stare, captivated by its light and energy, and listen to the wind blow through the trees.  There's a running joke I have with my husband on full moon nights - that there's no way I'm getting to sleep before the wee hours of the night, so I might as well do something productive. 

Since we've put the house renovations on hold for the time being, that productivity is poured into writing, and making jewellery - two of my favorite hobbies.  I tell people that's my therapy - doing something that I love, that requires enough focus for the task at hand to completely forget about everything else - an active meditation. 

Recently I shared a few of my poems with my writing group.  Because I write from the heart, a couple of my writer friends thanked me for being so open, and leaving myself vulnerable.  My response to their comments:   If you write for your own pleasure, you have only yourself to please...if you write to please others, then you’ll please no one.  I write what I write because it pleases me to do so – it’s therapy...I don’t feel vulnerable at all – quite the opposite actually – I feel liberated. 

There comes a point in one’s life when she lets go of the fear that holds her captive – fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, fear of loss, fear of pain...It is in that moment that one becomes free to truly live, and it is then that doors open and possibilities become endless.

So, let go of your fears and do what you love to do just for the love of doing it...the rest will come (being the start of a new season, it's the perfect time to do so...like detox for the soul). :)

Happy Harvest!
Cheers!

PS - Check out the new issue of Sibella Poetry Magazine - now available online.  I just love the flow of this issue.  My poem "My Life, My Path" appears on page 4.  It amazes me how all of us contributing writers come together from various walks and corners of the earth to create something with common threads, never once speaking to each other during the process. 

Harvest Season - Blessings (a poem)

Fall views from the Loft

Well, Fall is officially here, and with it comes the Harvest Season and Thanksgiving - a time of reflection and giving thanks for all that we have.  Although we haven't made much progress this past year with Ridgeview renovations (in fact, no progress at all except developing floor plans and construction quotes), there has been progress elsewhere in our lives - my husband's recovery, personal growth, new (and rekindled) hobbies that bring us joy.  I had started making jewellery with positive messages back in the Spring, and over the last couple of month, have had the opportunity to donate some of my creations to various charitable fundraisers, and to hear some of the heart-wrenching stories behind those fundraisers.  It certainly makes me stop and take notice of the many things I have to be thankful for - my health and my family's health, our friends and support network, our talents......but especially each other.






Blessings

Thank you Father Sky and Mother Earth -

Thank you for the gift of sight;

For the fiery leaves on autumn’s trees;
For the birds that sing their songs of hope;
For the waterways on which we float;
For clear blue skies and the warming sun;
And the moon’s light by which I pray.

Thank you for the gift of taste;
For apples and berries so juicy and sweet;
For vegetable gardens and herbs divine;
And succulent grapes that make fine wine;
For homemade pies and family dinners
Over which we love to share our days.

Thank you for the gift of touch;

For the softness of rose petals and baby’s skin;
For ocean waves and grains of sand
That massage my feet as I walk along this land;
For fallen trees and the cushioned grass -
Perfect spots on which to rest.

Thank you for the gift of sound;
For dazzling thunderstorms and lightning bright;
For the sound of rain that soothes the mind
To wash through thoughts that are so entwined;
For clouds to watch and images they create -
Products of our imagination.

Thank you for the gift of love;

For family and friends, all those I embrace;
For precious moments that make us smile;
For the beautiful people who make life worthwhile –
May their light forever shine
So brightly from their hearts.

Thank you Mother Earth and Father Sky -

For gifts of life, love and laughter;
For all of these gifts – priceless riches.

©Linda Spencer, 2012

 

It’s so easy for us to take for granted the things that we have and things we can do and people in our lives; often it’s only when we lose something that we take notice and realize what we had.  Take a few minutes each day to pause and reflect on all your wealth – family, friends, health, the ability to walk, talk, hear, see, think, create, touch, feel, love and be loved.  Be grateful. ~Linda Spencer

Plumbing Joys (NOT!)

Ah, the joys of owning an older home...and "issues" that may arise. 

Last Spring, we had a clogged drain at the water softener - the softener cycled in the middle of the night, and backed up into the kitchen sink, onto the floor, down the stairs and back into the basement.  It was a huge mess.  The problem - sludge so thick in the drain pipe that it clogged solid.   It was easy enough to replace the affected pipe in an unfinished basement ceiling.

This weekend, the issue is the toilet in the main bathroom backing up into the bathtub when it drains.  The sinks have been slow draining for a while.  Then on Friday I noticed the toilet would bubble after draining a bath, or after flushing...until Sunday, then it just wouldn't flush.  Well, the toilet would fill when you flushed it, but it wouldn't drain.  I decided to leave it a bit to see if it would slowly drain on its own.  And when I started the tub water to have a shower, I noticed that the water started filling up in the tub.  It would then drain slowly.  Tried again - same thing - wouldn't drain.  The main floor and basement lines seems fine - the only problem is with the upstairs bathroom fixtures. 

So, off I went to find some heavy duty Liquid Plumber or Drano, figuring that would solve my problem.  Found the one that was right for standing water, and would only take seven minutes to work...nope, didn't work.  As soon as I ran the water in the tub again, it started filling again. 
Then I tried plunging the toilet, then the tub, then the toilet again, and that's when it started backing up into the tub.

Do a google search on "toilet backing up into tub" - it's quite a common problem.
It's interested to read all the solutions people have to such problems, but the best answers I found were on the following sites:
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/plumbing/toilet-keeps-overflowing-backing-up-into-tub-help-597029.html
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071227161723AANuAaK

There's no doubt in my mind that you have a clog downstream from the tub in the branch drain line.
This can be snaked from one of two p[laces:
1. Pull the toilet and snake from there, **OR**
2. Remove the tub overflow plate and snake from there. (see image) Once you have the line cleared your backups should go away. 

 

 

 

 

So, my husband and I tried plunging (even bought a new accordion style plunger, that's says it's the most powerful) both the toilet and the tub drain...nothing, except more sewage coming up into the bathtub.  We  also tried snaking the tub, after removing the tub overflow plate (as described above) - the snake wouldn't go any further than about 2 feet before it stopped, but nothing came back.  Same with the toilet - snaked through the toilet bowl until it stopped at about 3 feet in. 

Two days and several hours of labour later, we're no further ahead...actually, it's even worse (let's just say we're keeping the bathroom window open, using lots of air freshener, and keeping the bathroom door shut).  I think it's time to call the plumber!

 

Once in a blue moon (or several moons)

No matter where I am, I always find myself staring at the moon when it's full. Its energy pulls my gaze toward its direction (I am a Gemini, afterall...). Its light fills the sky and luminates the earth - no need for a flashlight on full moon nights when the skies are clear. And the loft at Ridgeview offers some of the best views to capture the moon on camera. 

Canada Day 2012 - at 140x digital zoom

Blue Moon - Aug 30-2012

Blue Moon - Aug 30 -2012

Canada Day moon 2012

Super Moon - Mar 2011

It's great to take some time out to just enjoy such spectacular views.


Crossroads II

It's not everyday that you find your dream home-and we did just that when we bought this place.  So, we decided that we're staying at Ridgeview. This community was our home before we bought this place, so it just wouldn't feel right leaving it. We will make whatever modifications that are necessary to our current house design to make it work for all of us - safety and accessibility features for my husband; loft views for me.


It now means going forward with formalizing plans, negotiating settlements, making budgets and altering plans to meet budget constraints.  This is where my husband and I differ in views.  He says, "Let's see how much money we have before we make any plans."  Whereas, I say, "Let's design and plan what we want first, then make changes to fit ourbudget."  It's easier to in my mind to plan for "perfect" and have a good idea of what that will cost, then make changes to your plans when you realize that you can't afford "perfect", than it is to start down a path which you know you can afford, but then realize you want really want this and can't do without that.  Then, before you know it, you've spent way more than you can afford, and other aspects of living suffer as a consequence (or, for so many, they end up losing their homes).

You should not give up your dreams just because life throws you curve balls.  You just find new ways of realizing your dreams, and it may take a little longer that you originally hoped to do so.

CrossRoads

Have you ever come across something and just knew that it was meant for you?  Ever felt a pull so strong to something, that you felt you could never let go of it or live without it?  That's how I felt the first time I set foot in this house. It was love at first site.  Sure, it needed some TLC and a lot of work, but it just felt like home.  It's where I belonged.  Clear a few trees here; cut a few shrubs there; build a couple of sheds over there; flower gardens there, there and there.  New windows and doors, new siding, new roofs, some paint (a lot of paint), and it would be good as new.

Fast forward two years...my husband's accident last fall left him partially paralyzed from the waist down and unable to do what he used to do - the hard stuff, the digging, the clearing, the chopping, the rebuilding...we had only begun to scratch the surface of resurrecting this property to a more vibrant state. Now, we're at a crossroad - do we stay, or do we go?

Staying would mean extensive renovations and modifications to the house to make it accessible for someone with such a disability.  It would mean additions, and elevators and regrading and wheel chair lifts.  My husband not having access to the loft (which has the best view), but at least he would be able to access all other floors with the addition of an elevator. 

Moving elsewhere would have its own costs.  We'd have to find a place that was suitable for our family and accessible for my husband, and would likely be faced with renovations and modifications there as well.  It would mean giving up acres of ravine property with spectacular views, right in town, close to our friends and the kids' school.  It would mean giving up a country setting lifestyle we had always wanted.  It would mean giving up the dream of breathing life back into Ridgeview, and making it a place that draws people and wildlife (like it did to me the first time I saw it). 

How can one become so attached to a thing in so little time?  It's just a piece of land, just a building.  Everyone knows that home is where the heart is, so why should it matter where we live.  As I sit watching the full moon out the loft window, and feel its pull, it reminds me...some things just cannot be explained, they can only be experienced.

Redesign

Have you ever thought, "if I could just change this, or that, then it would be perfect"?  What if you were given that opportunity, every day?  What would you do?  What would you change?  How would you make it "perfect" ("Perfect", after all, is only in the eye of the beholder.  There is no such thing, really.).

Over the last few weeks, even months, I've been doing just that - to our home.  I've been designing and redesigning floor plans, searching for ideas on the Internet, and in my overactive and creative mind.  I've spent countless hours on designs, to make a floor plan that would be just right - for all of us in the home.  It'll be adaptable to accommodate my husband's disability.  It'll maintain the loft that I like to call my zen space (it's my quiet and creative space...and I just can't give it up).  It will provide space for my boys to play, for my husband to relax and rehabilitate, and for me to work.  It'll have space for guests to stay.  I can see it in my head.  It'll be "perfect". 

Our lot's elevations present the biggest challenge in designing such a "perfect" space, at a cost we can afford.  There are very few designs that I found in countless hours of research that deal with such sloping elevations as ours.  And there is little we can do with our building footprint without getting into septic location issues and significant and unaffordable costs.  We also have multiple levels in our home (as you can see from pics in previous posts), so an elevator will be essential to meet the current and future needs of our family (more on elevators in a post to come.).  That certainly adds a very significant cost to the project.

If ever you're looking at redesigning your space (be it your home, your office, your garage or studio), I recommend you first ask yourself what you want.  How would you make your space "perfect".  Searching sites like the following will give you design ideas:
http://www.ultimateplans.com/Index.aspx
http://amazingplans.com/
http://www.lchouseplans.com/house-plans-advanced-search
http://www.loghome.com/category/floorplans/
http://loghomelinks.com/states/on.htm
http://www.summerwood.com/cdn/plans/index.html      

Then, once you know what would be "perfect", talk to a local building contractor about costs, and how you can perfect your space within your budget.  There are web-sites and resources that can provide guidance on costs as well, like those listed below.
http://www.allaroundthehouse.com/lib.repr.htm#H
http://www.ontariocontractors.com/costs.htm#2

Whatever you choose, don't be afraid to write down and plan out what "perfect" is for you.  Dream away - doors may open, and opportunities may arise to allow that dream to come to fruition.  The first step is to see it in your head, then get it out of your head and on to paper.  So, go ahead - design and create "perfect" :)

Metamorphosis

I am so excited about the most recent issue of Sibella Poetry Magazine (now available online - see attached link http://clck.com/jmmg/spoetry/SIBELLAPOETRYsummer2012a.pdf) for good reason:  my poem, "Metamorphosis" is on page 9, and it showcases the wonderful poems that were this year's contest winners. 

"Metamorphosis" is a culmination of lifelong learning from changes in my own life, but was also inspired by the experiences of various friends.  One such friend (whom I only met recently in the Spring) just happens to be one of this year's contest winners (see "It Doesn't Matter Much..." by Jaisa Sulit).  She and my husband experienced similar accident injuries, and I'm blessed to now have her in our lives.  Another inspired me from a late-night chat we had about a piece of writing she had shared with our writing class. 

It is partially in knowing that I have great and wonderful friends (new and old - it's quite a large social network) that I am able to adapt quite well to difficult changes - changing jobs, changing lifestyles, changing circumstances - such as my husband's injury and on-going recovery. But even with adaptability, I've learned that you should never lose sight of your true self (believe me, I have, but have been quite fortunate to have found myself again - thank goodness!). We all go through change in our lives, some more than others, and some change more difficult than others. But it is through change that we learn resilience, we grow, we prosper. Just remember to be true to yourself through it all.

Ridgeview-Glen is still going through its process of metamorphosis.  We're now in brain-storming and design phases of renovations - quite a long process, with ups and downs, and unexpected turns itself.  More on this to come over the next few months.  Until then, cheers to change :)